Welcome to my first blog ever! I can’t even begin to describe how excited I am to be able to get more personal with you. I will be diving deeper into my life and be sure to always highlight any possible trigger areas to ensure you are comfortable while reading. I’m beginning this blog because it is super important to me to provide you with multiple streams of media from short Instagram clips to longer YouTube videos and these written blogs to meet your preference and or for any accessibility reasons. Feel free to leave questions or comments at the end. I hope you enjoy it!
Some people follow from my travels or holistic posts, some people know me from Season 7 of TLC’s 90 Day Fiancé or the recent airing of Single Life. If you haven’t seen my journey with Syngin then you can feel free to watch on Discovery +, although I am so much more than what is shown… and well, *eyeroll* it’s reality TV. Whether you watched the show or not, this blog will help you to really get to know me, the real, authentic Tania. We are all multi-dimensional, therefore I have many interests, been through multiple lives and am continuously learning and evolving. This blog will encompass EVERY facet of my life from dating and sexual relations *wink wink* to my not-so-mundane day-to-day life and spiritual journey. Let’s jump right into a little about myself…
I was born in Fall River, Massachusetts on February 28 (Ayy Pisces babyy) but left when I was two years old after my parents separated. We moved and I grew up in the small town Groton, Connecticut for most of my childhood. Shoutout to my Falcons!
TRIGGER WARNING – Physical / Sexual Abuse I am not sure exactly when it began, but I was being molested through my toddler years by a family member (remember, we are more likely to be harmed by someone we know than by a stranger). My mother was busy with school, and working, so family helped to support. And while this is very tragic, I still believe in it taking a village to raise a child. I don’t believe in letting fears control my decisions, life comes with needing and using discernment.
Around the age of 4 my mom started dating someone who I initially thought was so sweet and eventually proposed. She remarried when I was five and shortly after that, or maybe a little beforehand his true colors started to show and they began fighting. I have vivid memories of hiding in my room and feeling scared while listening to them argue. Within the year, in typical narcissistic behavior, he quickly moved us away from Connecticut to Norfolk, Virginia and we lost all our nearby support. The move, while harmful, also benefited me because it moved me away from the person molesting me. From this point, it didn’t take long for the physical violence against my mom or the emotional abuse to us both to begin. Through this, I have great memories of living by the beach and doing extremely well in school. My second-grade teacher, Mrs. Ambito, said I was extremely smart for my age and wanted me to skip second grade, but my mom decided against it because she was worried that I would struggle socially being the youngest.
One morning, I woke up to my mom asking me to start packing up everything into these large garbage bags that she handed me. I was told she was running out to get a truck, not to open the door to anyone and that we were leaving for good. This was the first time we ran away from my stepdad. I remember feeling intense emotions of fear and desperation and that as soon as we made it over the Chesapeake Bay Bridge there was this calming sense of comfort and safety. We made it back to our old apartment in Groton and roughly two months later my mom found out she was pregnant. Although we felt it was in our best interest to stay distant, sooo many people, family included, were encouraging her to go back to him. The common statement was that now with the baby he will change... After years of abuse, it finally came to an end. We were finally back in Groton, Connecticut, I was raised by my mom and grew up with my little sister, Tiana.
TRIGGER WARNING END –
Seeing my mom struggle a bit as a single mother I did my best to help as both a daughter and older sister. My first full-time job was at 14 years old at a local pizza restaurant. I then graduated one semester early from Fitch High School in 2008. In college, I struggled to find the right path for myself. I was torn between studying business or nursing. I ultimately decided on business and applied to various schools. I got into all of them but only one, I was even accepted into some of the nation’s top business schools. UCONN, go-figure, was the only business school I received a rejection letter from. At the time I wanted to stay in Connecticut because I was dating this guy and took the rejection as a sign to begin my prerequisites for nursing. Turns out I was not into it at all.
I was talking to my friend Desiree about how I feel and what I should do and she pointed out that I always organize all my friends’ birthday parties, baby showers and girls’ trips. She said I should just find something events related. So, I took my ass to the library and just Googled ‘Event Degrees’. Soon after, I started school at Johnson & Wales University Miami Campus in Florida majoring in Sports, Entertainment and Events Management. After half a year I decided to move back to Connecticut because my different new boyfriend at the time - wasn’t able to make the move to Florida. I took about a two-year break for financial reasons and went to Three Rivers Community College to continue part-time gen-ed classes. Afterward I ended up at the Johnson & Wales Providence, Rhode Island Campus. During the week I would attend classes, and, on the weekends, I would commute roughly an hour to work for this company based out of Boston, as a VIP Cocktail and Restaurant Server. During my last year of school, I joined an accelerated program and was taking 15 classes that year schooling full-time and was a part of a Sales & Catering internship at a nearby hotel. During the internship the Sales Coordinator left and I took over the position. So, during the week, I was working at the hotel amid taking classes and on the weekend, I was working hospitality in Boston. Talk about a hectic schedule and great work ethic!
With just a few credits left I thought it would be a great experience to study abroad. I went to a study abroad fair, walked past the Thailand booth and… Fell. In. LOVE! I applied and got accepted. I asked the hotel if they could give me that month off and they agreed stating they believe I could have all the interns prepared for that month. Trying to take full advantage, I talked to a friend, and we made plans to backpack Europe for a month. Well, the hotel didn’t want to give me two months, sooooooo… I quit. Two weeks prior to my trip to Thailand, there were civil protests going on and the school changed the program to Italy for safety reasons. My friend saw this as a sign to cancel the backpacking trip, and I was pissed af. But, well… What could I do? I already quit this job I really like so I just had to go with the flow. After six years of school on and off again, I graduated Magna Cum Laude from Johnson & Wales University in Providence, Rhode Island with a Bachelors in Events Management. My time studying in Italy was amazing and it changed a big perspective in my life.
While studying abroad, I realized that corporate life was not for me… It just didn’t suit my need for “time freedom.” I was working in Boston but left to begin chasing the seasons. I started bartending in Florida in the winter and came back to Connecticut once it was summer again. During this time, I was watching Netflix documentaries like The Human Experiment and Fork Over Knives and became more aware and upset toward our food and health care system in the United States. I already knew our food (#FuckMonsanto) and healthcare system was rigged and women’s health was not taken as seriously as men’s health, but my anger really grew, and I ended up in my first protest in Washington DC back in 2016 against money in politics (MiP) and voting rights (VR). I took a bus and arrived in DC the same day the marchers were coming in and I could tell it was a bit disorganized. Nobody was at the tent; nobody was organizing the food so I just started asking people to move tables and boxes and began organizing everything for the marchers to come in. I slept at a church with a bunch of the marchers, and I just want to say publicly: I am SO sorry! I did not understand much from trans-rights or have a well-understanding of how the USA was set up against the poor. I got into a couple arguments with some of the protestors which I just see now how wrong I was, and I sincerely apologize. <3
The next day was the first day to march and sit in at the capitol. I was surrounded by thousands of people from across the country who all started singing. It felt so good, I realized I wasn’t alone in my thoughts about politics, and I just started crying. This course of action really changed my life! I became extremely involved and began leading volunteers. I even spoke about how it’s important for us to stay united. I spoke to organizers about my administrative experience and offered to help with any backend work. I began helping at their movement house and stayed there as well. I was on a new path, or the same path just further down it, one that provided me with the vocabulary and a deeper understanding that pretty much every facet of our lives is political and made me more aware of social and humanitarian issues we face as a country and a planet. During a meeting there was a discussion of transforming this one-off protest into an organization and I raised my hand to join and stay in DC.
During roughly a full-year of volunteer organizing in DC, I was in love with someone but the feelings were not mutual. To try to move on I went on some dating apps and met Sean. In less than 24-hours he booked me a ticket to South Africa. One thing led to another, and I was on a flight from DC to South Africa. Check out my Bumble Fumble video about this failed experience in South Africa. Two years after that - well you probably already know! Otherwise watch my journey love journey from Syngin to Single Life on Discovery+.
I want to share about my life - I want this blog to be sort of a glimpse into my personal diary, but I also have SOOO many topics to share about. What do you want to read more about from sexuality, holistic health, social justice and humanitarian issues, nature, travels, spirituality? Leave a comment and let me know!